You don’t mind do you?

You don’t mind do you is a bit of nonsense in response to a prompt from a creative writing workshop.

There are two possible answers to that question, despite the implication it should be, ‘No, of course not. Happy to …’ fill in the blank.

Normally when she asks, I go for the above although my heart’s often not in it. Best friends since kindergarten, however, cannot apparently be denied.

‘I’m holding a little supper party and would love you to bring the starter/the pudding/three lots of nibbles to have with the Prosecco. You don’t mind, do you?’

‘I’ve only managed to get two tickets for the concert, and now four of us from work want to go, including my new boss whom I’m desperate to impress  – performance review coming up, salary increases, you know. Can I have your ticket? I’ll pay, of course.’ She giggles. ‘You don’t mind, do you? I mean, you’re not really a fan.’
I am a fan, not a superfan. It’s the idea of a night out with her dull work colleagues which makes me say, ‘No, of course not.’ I never did get the money.
‘My car’s full of boxes to take to the tip, so let’s take your car to the beach. You don’t mind, do you?’
There will be no offer to share petrol costs and my newly valeted car will return full of sand. I grit my teeth. ‘No, of course not.’
Today, however, I’m carefully considering my answer to this latest request, texted, which shows how complacent she’s become of my accommodating nature.
Texting gives me a chance to think.
Been invited to a wedding, don’t have a plus one handy. Thought I’d borrow your Harold. Heart emojis and smiley faces. You don’t mind do you?
My Harold. Whom she’s been flirting with the last six months? Who thinks my best friend is so much fun, a pretty, lively bundle, bright too.
Hmm.
My Harold. Who moved in two months ago and has taken to dropping his dirty laundry where he takes it off, propping in front of TV with a beer to watch sports when the sun outside begs for a walk in the park. My Harold who’d rather order pizza in than go out because it’s so much more cosy.

I text back, grinning to match the emojis:

No, of course not. Delighted!

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Find Cheryl’s flash fiction and short stories, including audio versions of some, here.