The yellow-lensed glasses lifted her mood. In the dank, dark days of January they were her life-saving ‘go to’. First thing, when she woke, she would scrabble for them on her bedside table, slip them on, and tread lightly down the stairs with energy to face the dreary world.
Bert would follow her down soon after, enticed by the smell of frying bacon. Bert didn’t approve the yellow-lensed glasses. ‘Keeps you from reality,’ he grumbled. ‘Rose-tinted glasses and all that.’
And she grinned, and hopped from foot to foot and said, ‘Yes, exactly.’ And put the bacon in the oven to keep warm while she fried the eggs (sunny side up) and dealt with the toast.
Bert approved the bacon and eggs.
January didn’t quite fly by, but the yellow-lensed glasses hastened things along.
Until today. She can’t find them anywhere. Poor old brain, she chides herself, the yellow-lenses glasses haven’t improved her memory. She looks in the fridge, the bedside drawer, the oven, the washing machine … no yellow-lensed glasses.
Her mood sinks like a bucket dipped into a cold, black well straining to haul up all the gloomy chill of winter and drench her soul with angst. She sits on the couch and cries, and cries.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ Bert touches her shoulder.
‘My yellow glasses,’ she sobs. And glances up. Fury chokes the sobs, chases the chill back into its dark cavern. ‘Why are you wearing them?’ she cries, aghast. ‘They’re mine!’
Bert ignores her righteous indignation. He takes a step back, grins. ‘I wanted to see if they worked.’ He laughs (laughs? Bert?) ‘And they do.’ He hops from foot to foot, wags a finger in her furious face. ‘You look hilarious sitting there with your face all red and puffy. Funny, funny, funny.’
She opens her mouth, shuts it. Stunned into inaction.
Bert whirls away from her, humming his way out through the door. ‘Always look on the bright side of life, da dum, de dum …’ he sings,
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THE YELLOW-LENSED GLASSES
They were supposed to be rose coloured – but somehow the spectacle manufacturer had misread the order.
Nadia was aghast. What on earth was she going to do with yellow lenses.
It wasn’t as if they were just a mild shade of yellow, or a yellowish tint – they were bright yellow. So yellow, in fact, that she wondered if she would even be able to see through them.
Tentatively, she reached for the glasses and placed them over her eyes.
As expected, the world turned yellow. Everything the same colour, no matter where she looked.
The famous Beatles song “Yellow Submarine” sprang immediately to mind and Nadia couldn’t help but laugh.
She could almost see John, Paul, George and Ringo prancing around in bright yellow get up as they belted out the words to the well-known tune.
Nadia felt a little like Alice in Wonderland, discovering this new land of magic complete with Mad Hatters, rabbits and tea parties.
Taking them off, she thoughtfully surveyed the lenses. She really should say something to the optometrist and, at the very least, ask them to rectify their mistake.
However, after further consideration, Nadia decided to keep the yellow-lensed glasses and see what adventures befell her.
Leaving the shopping centre, she was fascinated to negotiate the now yellow streets. Every car looked the same, people no longer easy to identify. It was like a black and white movie – only in yellow.
The lenses didn’t even offer different shadings of the colour, just a constant tone.
If I were an artist, I could replicate the world I am seeing on canvas, Nadia observed. But I am not an artist so my efforts would probably be rubbish. Perhaps I should show the glasses to someone who can paint.
A tall figure in a huge top hat blocked her path. Of course, he was yellow – and he also seemed reluctant to let her pass.
“You’re wearing my glasses,” he said, accusingly.
Taking off the spectacles, Nadia was a little indignant.
“What do you mean – YOUR glasses?”
And then she noticed his dress. All yellow with blue stripes – from the tip of his hat to the toes of his shoes.
“That was my order,” he informed her. “They must have got the names mixed up and given you my glasses by mistake!!”
How funny. Serve Bert right if he tripped going out the door. Then we could talk about the yellow lens glasses revenge 😂😂