Welcome back to the daily prompts. Two responses today …
More discussion about AI and apparently at least one organisation has closed its competition because it can’t tell the difference between human written and AI written stories. So today I’ve done both. Which one is mine, do you think? (I’m ready to be humiliated here!)
He slipped into the line – story one
The soldiers came in the winter dawn with their rifle butts and shouts. He pressed his shivering body into the deeper shadows, the night’s pathetic forage tight against his ribs.
Frightened questions, sharp orders, one resisting voice rewarded with a screamed command.
He crept to the edge of the wall, knelt, peered around. Nervous adults, sleep-tousled children, spilling from doorways, brown cardboard cases in hands. Breaths misted in the air, frozen puddles cracked under the weight of thin-soled shoes. The soldiers waved their rifles, herding the passive families into a long queue. The cattle truck waited at the end of the cobbled street where.
His heart thumped. The rumours … the disappearances … the lies. He searched the faces. Perhaps … A heart beat of optimism before he saw her. She held her head high, her shoulders squared, an arm around the shoulders of her sobbing youngest brother.
He closed his eyes, drew in the taste of a last breath of freedom, stood, stepped into the street and slipped into the line.
He slipped into the line – story two
As a teenager, Tom had always been afraid of getting into trouble. He was the type of person who always followed the rules and did what he was told. But as he got older, he started to realize that sometimes it was necessary to take risks in life.
One day, while waiting in line at the grocery store, Tom noticed a man trying to cut in front of him. At first, Tom didn’t say anything, but as the man continued to push his way through the line, Tom knew he had to take action.
He slipped into the line, blocking the man’s path. ‘Excuse me,’ he said firmly. ‘The line starts back there.’
The man glared at Tom, but didn’t say anything. Tom could feel his heart racing as he stood his ground, but he knew he was doing the right thing.
As they waited in line, Tom struck up a conversation with the woman in front of him. They talked about their favorite books and movies, and before he knew it, they were laughing and joking like old friends.
When it was Tom’s turn to pay, he turned around to say goodbye to the woman, but she was gone. He looked around, but she had disappeared into the crowd.
As he walked out of the store, Tom felt a sense of pride in himself. He had taken a risk, stood up for what was right, and made a new friend in the process.
PS – the first one is mine. One telling point which someone pointed out is that there’s an unfinished sentence (The rumours … etc), which an AI wouldn’t do. Not at this point anyway.
Follow the daily writing prompt on Facebook or Instagram.
Find Cheryl’s flash fiction and short stories (the ones she actually wrote) here!
No one noticed as he slipped into the line. They were all too busy discussing the upcoming football match.
It was the Grand Final and, for one lot of fans at least, the excitement was palpable. Their team had never made a grand final before – let alone won it.
This was their big chance to make history and their loyal, long-suffering supporters were not going to miss it – not for anything.
On arriving at the MCG, Tom had looked at the line snaking continuously well back into the adjacent suburb of East Melbourne.
“I’ll never be able to obtain a ticket,” he moaned silently. “There must be a better way.”
That’s when he had the brilliant idea of slipping into the line two-thirds of the way to the ground, hoping no one would notice.
He was ready with a plausible excuse if anyone challenged, but no one did. They were all too excited, peering towards the stadium, wondering how long before they reached the entrance.
The line inched forward slowly, security checking each person’s credentials before allowing them access.
Tom didn’t have a membership ticket. However, he had the next best thing – a ladies’ guest pass issued to members more than 50 years ago, but still valid providing you were prepared to line up, take your turn and hope the ground wasn’t at capacity by the time you arrived at the entrance.
Still, the line moved forward – its grateful participants heaving a sigh of relief once they passed through the turnstiles.
Almost there, thought Tom, should make it without too many problems.
He could see the gates, they were almost within striking distance. Each person was scanned by security for weapons before being allowed through into the stadium.
Suddenly, it was Tom’s turn. He produced his ticket for scanning. The light flashed red instead of the green “Go” to which he was accustomed.
He tried again, still red.
“Give me a look at your ticket,” demanded the turnstile keeper. “Sorry mate, these are no longer valid.”
“What do you mean?” queried Tom.
“Stopped using them last season. Didn’t anyone tell you?”
“No,” replied Tom “No, they didn’t.”
Crestfallen, he turned away from the ground – totally frustrated that his beloved Gold Coast Suns would be performing without him there to watch.
Not an AI piece (chuckle)
Poor Tom…
I believe the first story is yours. There is an air of uncertainty and anticipation about what is to come along with the drama and fear they must all face with what is obviously a war prisoner situation.
The second story is boring and predictable, totally unexciting. Just what you would expect from AI. Hope I’m right!!
Yup, thanks!