Sunshine, at last. Winter was finally retreating, creeping its way southward to fill the antipodeans’ lives with chill and wet. Lucky them.
A day for a drive to the beach, pale sands glittering, lazy waves rolling in, lacy froth combing the wet sand like a lover’s teasing fingers.
Only me, I’d go alone, do what I wanted to do, spend as much or as little time on whatever it was.
Sandwich packed, thermos filled, I let the car amble between the greening hedgerows to the coastal grasslands, not far. I knew a spot which, on a week day, would be empty. I parked at the top of the cliff, hefted my tote over my shoulder, picnic rug under one arm, and picked my way down the winding sand and stone path. Smell of salt sea, touch of scrubby grasses brushing bare legs, shriek of gulls and a playful wind tugging at my hair – the beach.
I tucked the rug and picnic into a sunny crevice against the cliff face, pulled off my shoes and wandered along the water’s edge, kicking up spray, squishing wet sand between my willing toes.
Ahead, something moved against a black wet rock. A pale, gleaming shape. Rubbish? Even here. I sighed at the selfish ignorance of people and walked on. But as I approached, the gleaming object glittered in the sun, luminescent, pale green silver, pink and mauve twinkling lights, like sequins on a party frock.
A fish? A very large fish.
I hurried, curious. If it was alive, I could perhaps roll the fish back into the life-giving ocean.
I reached the spot. Gasped. No fish. A naked female form rose from the glittering scales, snarled hanks of golden hair as thick as rope splayed across the sand. The creature’s eyes were closed, lips white, her arms pinned to her sides, tangled as she was in plastic netting which scoured her skin and tore her scales.
‘Mermaid!’
The creature blinked open sea green eyes, stared, terror filling her gaze at this new threat.
She was alive.
I stepped away, hands clasped in front of me, eager to show her I wished her no harm. Quite the contrary.
‘How did you get here?’ I asked, keeping my voice low, hoping she would understand.
The mermaid squirmed in her plastic prison and through too dry lips gasped, ‘Playing with dolphins, fishing boat – free the catch …’ She looked at me with eyes deep with sorrow. ‘Not quick enough … and then I woke up here.’
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AND THEN I WOKE UP HERE
I vaguely remembered the night – the laughter, the jokes, the drinking – above all, the drinking.
And then I woke up here. But where was here?
I looked around the room, filtered sunlight peeping through closed curtains, a sleeping naked woman beside me in the bed.
Whaat? A naked woman. Who on earth was she? What had I got up to in my apparently severely drunken state?
I jumped out of bed and threw on trousers that I spotted in a crumpled heap with all my other clothes on the floor.
My companion began to stir, murmuring, a contented smile on her face.
She opened her eyes and her smile widened.
“Good morning, darling.” The voice was like velvety chocolate, oozing into every pore. “Hope you enjoyed last night,” she continued. “You were so wonderful. I couldn’t believe how marvellous you made me feel.”
Enjoyed last night. Wonderful. Made her feel marvellous.
“Wh…who…are you?” I managed to stammer.
“Eloise, darling. Don’t you remember? You proposed to me and then collared one of your friends, who happened to be a celebrant, into marrying us on the spot. Everyone was having a great time – particularly you!”
“M..m..married? We can’t be. It’s some sort of mistake!!” I was totally confused. “And by the way, where are we?”
“In my bedroom, darling. Where else would we be?”
My head pounded. What had I got up to at the party? It was a celebration of our firm landing the biggest advertising account in corporate history and the drinks flowed freely.
I remembered my boss slapping me on the back with his hearty congratulations on my enormous success in landing the deal – then the rest of the night was a blur.
“And just where, exactly, do you fit in?” I inquired.
“Me? – I was the girl who jumped out of the cake. You took an instant liking to me and practically devoured me on the floor while everyone cheered.”
“Devoured? I couldn’t have. I’m not like that. I would never do that,” I spluttered.
“Well, you did last night. And I loved every minute of it. And now that we are married, you can do it lots more.”
Eloise threw her arms around me and the passionate kiss left me in no doubt as to her immediate intentions.
With some difficulty, I managed to extricate myself.
“Listen, Eloise, this has been some kind of giant mistake,” I said. “We’ll just have to organise to get unmarried this morning. I mean – I don’t even know you, let alone whether or not I want to marry you!!”
“Too late, darling,” she replied, holding up the soft drink can tab adorning her ring finger. “We are already legally married. And I don’t think my family would take kindly to you ditching me now that has occurred.”
“Family? What family?”
“Didn’t I tell you darling? My father is the local Mafia boss and he doesn’t like it when his little girl is upset.”
Whoops!
Always love your marvellous imagination. Great little story 😂